I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
