oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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