im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
