I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is classic penis vs brain.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I think i got beer on your cat.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
