I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
