a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
