So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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