OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize