Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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