Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
