lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I think my fart just growled at me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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