Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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