So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
