i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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