That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize