So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I need a burrito and a hug.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
