I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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