I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
