is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
