just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
