Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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