that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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