that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
