umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
