Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Found the puke drawer
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
