If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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