You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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