wanna go halves on a baby?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
