I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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