so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize