You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This house was built for laser tag.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize