i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize