so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
