So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
