I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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