Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Farmville is her only friend.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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