Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
