wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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