i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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