Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize