I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
