just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
