The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize