The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
