O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
