rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just found puke in my bra..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
