Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
