Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
