I love black thongs
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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