you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
