I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am one with the molecules
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
