Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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