Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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