soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
