I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
