I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
