i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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