Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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