We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
