Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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