david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He told me they were just razor bumps!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
