no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
